Untitled

stonebutchsnooze: silvercurses: gaysorry: this is the only...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 07:29:47 -0400

silvercurses:

gaysorry:

this is the only context i’ll allow country music bc this video is possibly the gayest and most romantic one i’ve seen in my eighteen years on this earth

watch every second of this

this is the sweetest im so happy

freakphilly: bisexyhung1: noodle-dragon: the-philosophers-bone...

Mon, 28 May 2018 19:36:20 -0400

freakphilly:

bisexyhung1:

noodle-dragon:

the-philosophers-bone:

acabosetotal:

harukami:

gothiccharmschool:

seananmcguire:

kanayahavethisdance:

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

BURN BAGEL BURN

OH WHY NOT?

I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.

Bagel what are your powers

FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.

THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

Lets see what’s good

Needed

kingorb: playdohnt: antiandrogen: i was so scared this was...

Mon, 21 May 2018 16:29:24 -0400

kingorb:

playdohnt:

antiandrogen:

i was so scared this was lost in history

Thank you for reblogging this

“Wazzzz goody” ASDHFJKFLFLL LMFAOOOO

Reblog if you're older than 14 but younger than 25

Sun, 20 May 2018 18:10:09 -0400

teendickkkk:

flooga:

I’m 15, which is older than 14 and younger than 24😂

I’m 15

kyonite: this is the perfect grade of good luck reblog in 5...

Fri, 27 Apr 2018 22:51:10 -0400

kyonite:

this is the perfect grade of good luck

reblog in 5 seconds and all of your grades will inch ever closer to perfect

almightyzig: blackxasteria: magicinhermadness: madamegrimes:...

Wed, 18 Apr 2018 20:42:40 -0400

almightyzig:

blackxasteria:

magicinhermadness:

madamegrimes:

queencoles:

theblacksophisticate:

adamygdalam:

str8-for-pay:

32 Faces You’ll Recognize If You’ve Ever Had Anal Sex With A Penis

I GOT TO 32 AND SCREAMED!! LMFAO!!

We really need to throw the whole internet away at this point….

I FUCKING HATE Y'ALL 😂😂😂😭😭

I. AM. WHEEZING. 😂😂😂

.

Childhood ruined

crazychipscr: iya9: vinebox: Reblog this and money will be...

Tue, 27 Mar 2018 10:12:10 -0400

crazychipscr:

iya9:

vinebox:

Reblog this and money will be entering your life this week

I need more 😊😊

More

hellonicetomisha: alltheselittlevoices: haleepls: hold-a-lover-...

Tue, 27 Mar 2018 10:02:43 -0400

hellonicetomisha:

alltheselittlevoices:

haleepls:

hold-a-lover-close:

owlturdcomix:

We go forward.

This is too deep to comprehend.

Stop it

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE FUNNY

:(((((

robbieamell:Mambo Italiano (2003)

Thu, 15 Mar 2018 01:56:17 -0400

robbieamell:

Mambo Italiano (2003)

sabakunogaaraai: onion-souls: fireandshellamari: deathdaydream...

Thu, 15 Mar 2018 01:56:02 -0400

sabakunogaaraai:

onion-souls:

fireandshellamari:

deathdaydream:

mykrazyuniverse:

magistrate-of-mediocrity:

deathdaydream:

deathdaydream:

soappppp

yall I fucking bled for this peice of trash pls like it

oh. I thought it was a photo.

Damn it took me 5 minutes to figure out why you wanted people to like a picture of soap. You did such a good job people think you are just posting random pics of soap.

this isn’t the fist time this has happened, I painted lube and everyone was confused that I posted a picture of lube

Imagine being such a good artist that people think you’re just an lolrandom shitposter

those are drawings? jesus christ…

megtite1974: Very delicious 🍦🍦🍦🍦

Mon, 12 Feb 2018 00:38:19 -0500

megtite1974:

Very delicious 🍦🍦🍦🍦

the-asexual-reaper: wpsstories: writing-prompt-s: after dying god informs you that hell is a myth,...

Sun, 11 Feb 2018 22:58:06 -0500

the-asexual-reaper:

wpsstories:

writing-prompt-s:

after dying god informs you that hell is a myth, and “everyone sins, its ok”. instead the dead are sorted into six “houses of heaven” based on the sins they chose.

We arrived first at the House of Lust. “House” is a misleading term. It was more of a camp, spread over acres and acres of lush forest. There was a white sandy beach (nude, of course) full of copulating couples. There were little cabins sprinkled all along the path, from which orgasmic moans regularly came belting out. Men with six pack abs and women with perky breasts strolled by without even noticing me and God. They only had eyes for each other, tickling and pinching each other with flirtatious giggles.

“What do you think?” God asked as we passed a nineteen-way taking place in a pool of champagne. Little cherubs flitted overhead armed with mops and cleaning supplies, thankfully. “Lust is our most popular sin.” I eyed the supermodel-like figures of a couple passing nearby, and could easily see why. “You can look however you want. Hell, you can be whatever gender you want. No fetish is too taboo, and no desire can be denied here.”

It was quite tempting, but I wasn’t ready to make a permanent decision here. “Let’s see the others,” I told God.

We carried on to Greed. We passed rows and rows of mansions, each more opulent than the next. Some of them were so large that they would have had enough bed rooms to fit my entire hometown. And so many different styles: one second, we were in a beautiful French vineyard in front of a gorgeous chateau with the Alps in the background. The next second, a warm tropical beach with a modern mansion atop breathtaking cliffs. After that, a ski chalet in Colorado with a roaring fire in a hearth large enough to fit an ox. Each one had various Italian sports cars and Rolls Royces parked in front, with the occasional smattering of boats, helicopters, etc.

“Any material desire you ever wanted,” God explained. “Your own world, where you can have everything. You want the Hope Diamond? You can fly to Washington DC in your own solid gold helicopter and buy it from the Smithsonian. Hell, you can just buy the Smithsonian.”

Also tempting, but I decided to keep looking.

Gluttony was next up. Tables and tables of the very finest foods: beautiful steaks cooked medium rare; butter-poached lobster tail; fresh oysters on a half shell; exotic wines in dusty bottles that had been hiding in the cellars of the world’s finest restaurants. Everyone had a glass of champagne in hand and simply lounged on couches and chairs near the tables, eating endlessly. As soon as the inhabitants took a bite, the food just instantly came back. My mouth watered even watching them.

“In every other House, the food is practically sawdust compared to Gluttony,” God explained. “You haven’t truly experienced heaven until you’ve been to Gluttony.”

I shook my head, and we kept moving.

Sloth was as you’d expect. An endless sea of the softest mattresses, stacked with cushions and pillows that made the story of the princess and the pea seem minimalist. Little angels visited each resident, giving them massages that made them all melt into their blankets.

Wrath was… well, a lot like what I’d expect Hell to be like. Fire, brimstone, whips, torture.. you know, the works. Except here, you weren’t the one being tortured. Every enemy you’d ever made in your real life was now under your thumb. “Lots of people choose their fathers,” God explained. “Lots of grudges against parents in general, you know. But you’re not limited to that. Someone beat you out for a big promotion back on Earth? Take your pound of flesh here.”

Then we arrived at Envy. It looked… well, a lot like home.

“Go on in,” God said, gesturing toward the door. I turned the knob and walked in… and found Emily waiting inside. She ran forward, wrapped her arms around my neck, and planted a kiss right on my lips. “Welcome home, honey.”

I looked back toward God. “Oh, don’t be coy,” he said. “You have no secrets from me. We all know that you were in love with your best friend’s wife.” She didn’t seem to hear him at all; she went back into the hall. “We all know that you just settled for your own wife while secretly pining after her. Well, this is your chance to live happily ever after.”

I peered into the kitchen. Emily was baking something, wearing nothing but an apron. Her curly black hair fell softly over her shoulder as she whisked ingredients. She turned back, noticed I was observing her, and an enthusiastic smile spread across her face.

“It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?” God whispered in my ear.

I wanted to take it. God damn did I want to take it. But I shook my head.

God seemed puzzled. “You need to make a decision,” he told me.

“I haven’t seen Pride yet.”

He scoffed. “No one ever wants Pride, trust me.”

“Well, I want to see it.”

_________________________

Pride was boring. Just a row of workbenches in a bare white room.

“I don’t get it,” I told God.

“Yeah, no one does,” he answered. “That’s why no one ever chooses it. Doesn’t cavorting in Lust sound better than sitting here building little trinkets for the rest of eternity? Wouldn’t you rather gorge yourself in Gluttony? Or spend time with Emily in Envy?”

I considered the options again. “I pick Pride,” I finally told him.

He narrowed his eyes. “What? Look at it!” He gestured around the room again. There wasn’t much to look at. “Why would you choose this for the rest of time?”

“Because you don’t want me to pick it,” I told him. If he was really God, he’d know what a contrarian I can be. And I knew he was hiding something, trying to pretend like Pride didn’t exist. There was something special about it.

God scowled back. “Fine.” He led me over to one of the workbenches. In the center, there was a black space. A blank, empty void that went on forever. “Here’s your universe,” he said. “You’ve got seven days to get started.” He took his seat at the bench next to me and went back to tinkering in his own world. After a long pause, he finally spoke again: “You know, it might be nice for me to actually have some company for once.”

FUCKING I MEAN.

IT’S LIKE 7AM AND I LOVE GONNA REBLOG SO I CAN READ THIS SHIT AGAIN

queerlove: reblog the gay frog in 30 seconds and you will meet...

Tue, 26 Dec 2017 01:44:11 -0500

queerlove:

reblog the gay frog in 30 seconds and you will meet the gay love of your life

brebre723: hethatcures: caitlish: silensy: therogzilla: seco...

Thu, 14 Dec 2017 01:08:08 -0500

brebre723:

hethatcures:

caitlish:

silensy:

therogzilla:

secondlina:

the-crystal-queen:

strangenewclassrooms:

pencilblots:

maryburgers:

maryburgers:

riskpig:

luthienebonyx:

telanu:

britney2007spears:

hoodoo-hoodlum:

I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

Reblogging myself because

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

………my friend has made me curious

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

I don’t believe in these things

But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job

But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.

Roger is cute.

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

I’m fucking adorable!

Roger is so cute. Roger can always be on my blog.

Running my first show tomorrow. I need all the good luck I can get. Help me, Roger!

Roger everything is shit, and I have to be up at 5am, please send help.

Roger let your magic work

lapuerkilla17: masturbatorsanctum: prguitarman: yeahiwasinthes...

Thu, 07 Dec 2017 22:54:49 -0500

lapuerkilla17:

masturbatorsanctum:

prguitarman:

yeahiwasintheshit:

THIS IS MONEY PENIS, REBLOG WITHIN 5 MINUTES AND MONEY WILL COME ALL OVER YOU WITHIN 24 HOURS

Shoot your money all over my face

Penis takes control and I must reblog…

Omg

starkypop: theblackparatrooper: sbusitheafrican: danishwithana:...

Sat, 02 Dec 2017 19:31:21 -0500

starkypop:

theblackparatrooper:

sbusitheafrican:

danishwithana:

kingofhispaniola:

kngshxt:

robregal:

kimreesesdaughter:

melaninftstretchmarks:

cakeybootydummydumb:

kahlil-themulattoassassin:

2opinionatedblackgirls:

stay-hyyer:

whenyougetrightdowntoit:

lightskinlivinglavish:

infamous-legacy:

Let that bitch know

READ THAT BITCH

They thought he was gonna be one of their “yes man” black correspondents…

That was on fox????

Drag haaaaaa!!!!!!!

He is a hero, I’m so here for it

when he said the culture of these crazy white boys shooting up schools. oh my gosh.

^^that gif was legit me at that very moment!

Who put the Round 2 bell? 😩😩😩 So glad he’s not afraid to speak up! #PutWhitePeopleInTheirPlace2Kforever

She shoulda known she was in trouble as soon as she saw he was wearing a bowtie. Ain’t no games when a nigga wears a bowtie.

that gif was literally me at my desk lmao

Yesss everyone needs to reblog this okayy… 👏👏💯

Yesss will forever reblog!

This Bitch though, well said Sir

Who is that dude

bless his soul ❤️

mattandjones: b0yonce: I love this so fuvking much. BISTCH

Fri, 01 Dec 2017 18:18:49 -0500

mattandjones:

b0yonce:

I love this so fuvking much.

BISTCH

legitelizabethwwefan: Ah, what the hell? It won’t hurt...

Wed, 29 Nov 2017 02:26:01 -0500

legitelizabethwwefan:

Ah, what the hell? It won’t hurt anything.

impolitecanadian: bebe-benzenheimer: newtsckamander: somehow I got 95/20 on an assignment I hope...

Tue, 28 Nov 2017 00:46:25 -0500

impolitecanadian:

bebe-benzenheimer:

newtsckamander:

somehow I got 95/20 on an assignment

I hope they never fix it and leave it this way forever

reblog the Awesome Grade picture for awesome grades

guys this really works i reblogged it and then got 870% on an essay

blonde-vulcan: lowoncliches: zellah7: bye i love this Man:...

Tue, 28 Nov 2017 00:45:04 -0500

blonde-vulcan:

lowoncliches:

zellah7:

bye i love this

Man: Siri, what is 1 trillion to the tenth power?
Siri: Calculation. The answer is one zero zero zero zero zero [continuing]
Man: *starts beatboxing to the rhythm.
Woman 1: *joins in*
Woman 2: *starts singing to the rhythm*

This is sO GOOD